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Are You for Real? (Truly Authentic?)
What are younger women looking for?
I can sum it up in 2 words: BE REAL!
Be authentic!
In the church, we have gotten into a routine someone asks how we are, for the answer to typically be something like, “I’m good” or “I’m fine.”
Sometimes that might be the case, but more times than not, people are hurting or need encouragement, but it’s been modeled to just smile through it and keep your vulnerabilities to yourself.
Are You for Real? Every Women Knows What I’m Talking about!
Every woman knows what I’m talking about…
We all have those close friends and family that have been through life’s ups and downs with us and have earned a right of passage into our real emotions.
However, for everyone else, we keep a distance behind our smiles every Sunday.
Let me ask you a question… Are You for Real?
Think back…5 years, 10 years, or even 20 years ago.
What would you go back and tell yourself now?
What have you learned?
And, what has God taught you or shown you?
Well, whatever you are thinking of right now, there is a woman 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years behind you, in another stage of life, that needs to hear that very thing!
She needs to know how to hold her tongue when gossip is flying.
She needs to know that toddlers do CRAZY things!
That Younger Woman Needs You!
She needs to know how to be a more encouraging wife.
She needs to know that she will get sleep again after her first newborn comes.
And, she needs to know that teenagers test the limits, and adult children can still be needy.
She needs encouragement, and she needs you to BE REAL!
In the Church – Are You for Real?
So many times, in the church especially, we think we have to have it all together or be a Bible scholar to teach someone else, but that’s just not true!
All a mentor is really, is teaching someone about life that’s a stage behind you, and telling them what you have learned and what the Lord has done for you.
So for a young woman, it may be looking back to a newlywed or a college student. For the older and wiser woman, it may be looking back to a mom raising her family.
You get the idea…
Look Behind You!
Look behind you.
Who are the women in your life, living in the stages that you have already marked complete?
Women that are in desperate need of you to break the “I’m fines” and the fake smiles and BE REAL with them.
I once had a woman in our church see me drowning and exhausted as a new mom after my first son was born and had severe colic, and she told me, “I’m coming over today and getting all of your laundry and taking it home with me.”
She didn’t leave any choice in the matter.
She didn’t judge my huge pile of laundry or messy kitchen. Instead, she just came and met my need. She encouraged me as she shared how she remembered walking through the same thing with a newborn years before.
Through a real-life mess I was walking through, she met me where I was and opened the door to speak into my life through that situation. She babysat my crying baby so my husband and I could go out on dates.
Also, she prayed for me and encouraged me. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.
Fast-Forward Nine Years
Now fast forward nine years later, and I don’t need her the same way I did then.
But she still encourages me and shows up for me, as I walk through raising two boys because she has now raised her two boys into adulthood.
I say all of this to make the point, that your mentor relationship may be seasonal, but you will make a FOREVER impact on that younger woman. She needs you. She needs your help and your encouragement.
Also, she needs you to BE REAL with her and show her that you aren’t perfect.
Even though you’re older, wiser, and have more life experience, you still mess up every day and that’s where JESUS comes in!
Are You for Real? You Can Show Them Jesus!
You can show them, Jesus, just by doing life with them.
What has He done for you?
How have you learned to accept His love and forgiveness?
What do you do to have a consistent quiet time?
Also, how did you teach your children about Him?
Young women are dying to know these things!!
You Don’t Have to Have it All Figured Out to Be Real!
No, you will never have everything figured out, but I believe God gives us wisdom with each new stage of life if we ask Him for it.
Wisdom that is not meant to be kept to ourselves…
So why do this?
Why BE REAL and invite someone into our messy house and our messy life?
Why mentor someone else?
First, we mentor because the Bible tells us to do so.
Titus 2:3-5 says:
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.
Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Second, we mentor because it is contagious and it multiplies!
Faith in Jesus is contagious and being real is contagious!
Every time you do real life with someone, it will get a little easier to turn around and do it again and again.
Where the multiplication comes in, is that they will take what they learned from you, leaving them with a deeper relationship with Jesus, and turn around and do it for someone else.
So it’s incredibly important!
It’s Time to Be Real!
It’s time ladies!
Examine your life.
Who has the Lord placed there for you to encourage?
To do life with?
To show Jesus to?
God will bless you, and He will be with you every step of the way if you commit to BE REAL and mentor someone, I promise!
About the Author – Mallory Allen
Mallory Allen is the creator and host of Faithful 31 Moms.
She’s also the author of two amazing books, Casting of the Flowers Children’s Book and Casting of the Flowers Devotional Coloring Book.
Also, my friend Mallory is married to a church planter and pastor Josh Allen. They have two wonderful boys, Jake and James.
Moreover, I have to tell you that this sweet lady has a huge heart for the Lord and for others.
Connect with Mallory on Instagram and Facebook.
For more mentoring encouragement…
Check out my conversation with Mallory on Faithful 31 Moms!
You can read more HERE!
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Hey Mallory,
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your insights with us!
We are so encouraged by you and by your ministry!
Praying that God will bless you and your family,
Melanie